broken inside.
crushed. torn.
the departure of a loved one.
evonne.

the reason why i am typing this two days after the whole incident was because, frankly, i couldnt find the words to do it and i couldnt believe that the dreaded day had to arrive so fast.
but now, i'm here to tell my version of what had happened.

it was one heck of an emotional rollarcoaster at changi airport on saturday.
met amirul, vanessa, junliang, fionn and zairil at changy airport mrt and we trooped down to terminal one to meet up with nicholas, vera and evonne.
at first, we were still able to laugh and joke.
especially me.
haha.
slid around the polished tile floors in my court shoes pulled by amirul and just crapped around.
the beginning of the torture was when evonne went to check in with her dad.
all of us were standing about a few feet from them and after a few minutes, we started to cry one by one.
i guess, its because none of us could hold it in any longer.
the sight of her checking in her baggage confirmed our worst nightmares and we just broke down.
as the hot tears cascaded down my cheeks, i looked around and saw vanessa, fionn, vera and amirul sobbing quietly too.
when evonne returned, all of us hugged her tightly as if we never wanted to let her go.
took some last pictures and soon we were our own selves again.
laughed, joked, talked, snapped pictures and nicholas showed us the farewell video.
it was quite funny actually.
it had pictures i took of evonne looking at a map sideways at pulau ubin and the pictures from the last day of school. and messages from almost all of us to her.
very touching.
but the kodak moment of the day was when amirul hugged evonne.
the way he held her, the way he looked at her and the way his eyes were brimming with tears.
it was all so beautiful and perfect.
the literature person in me rose and i started to tear again.
it was so, so beautiful. unspoken love.
i could tell that amirul really loved evonne and vice versa. all of us could.
when it was time for her to enter the departure gates, all of us rushed to press our faces against the glass wall and we struggled to fog up the entire wall to write out "EVONNE".
haha! sadly, it didnt work. we only got as far to the "O".
at the glass wall, i turned to look at amirul and saw him mouth the words "i love you".
evonne replied and when she saw all of us sobbing quietly, her face crumpled up and she started the waterworks again.
after she walked through the counters, she turned back and with one last longing glance, she walked out of the country and physically out of our lives.
as we sat in the mrt, shrouded in silence, amirul pulled out a letter she had written to him long ago and read it again.
of course, being the nice friend i was, i turned my head the other way to let him read it in peace. he then passed me the letter and told me to read it, taking care not to accidentally tear any part of it(it was very wet), i read it quietly and wept.
yet again, it was so beautiful and sad. while amirul buried his head in his hands and sobbed with his shoulders heaving, i gently folded it up and held it for a moment while i laid my hand on his right shoulder.
i couldnt do anything but just be there for him and let him be.
all of us sat in the mrt silently, i wasnt sure of what the others were thinking but i was thinking back of the times evonne shared with us-fionn, vann and i. i'm really thankful i was able to really get to know such a wonderful person like her.
i remember once i told her that i used to think she was a bitch but when she started hanging out with us, i finally got to know her better and even though she was a trifle irritating sometimes, i accepted her for who she was and focused on her good points.
that was why for the first few weeks when she started hanging out with us, i was cold and totally didnt want to have anything to do with her, until she touched my heart and melted the cold hard exterior revealing the fact that i actually have lots of things in common with her.
thank you, Jesus for giving me the chance to really know her and bond with her.
i also remember the movies we used to rent and watch at her house while eating cup noodles.
in the dark, our handphones beside us receiving messages every few seconds, with the air con on and windows shut tightly.
the time she and junliang taught me wonderwall on the guitar.
the times she introduced me to new songs like holiday, wonderwall, boulevard of broken songs and radical dreamers. and she brought such a wonderful friend like amirul into my life.
the time, she helped me sort out my feelings.
i thank her for being there for me and i'm sure [censored] thanks her too.
the rubbing of salt into my wounds when i couldnt hit a single ball during softball (thankfully, mr singh has corrected that problem and now, i'm hitting flyballs and scoring homeruns for every single pitch. ha! i just wasnt standing square. HA! and i field well when positioned at home base. hmmm.)
anyway.
the gossiping at night, the laughs we shared, the songs we sang together, the memories we had.
everything ended perfectly.
thank you, evonne, for all the wonderful memories.
time will pass but the memories will never fade away. =]